A couple of weeks ago I shared with my creative team real facts of my feelings about myself and changes I’ve gone through the last 4 to 5 years, dealing with depression, getting in touch with myself and overcoming fears and how some things are still haunting me (procrastination being the first) and they got me really surprised with their responses because most of them share the same feelings.
After reading all their replies and calming my heart and mind, I started reflecting about all the changes I made, specifically towards self-doubt. That assured me I’m on the right path. Here I share the steps and techniques I used to get rid of self-doubt and consequently overcome depression.
1 – I made a clear decision
The first step is to decide to change. I know it sounds cliché, but making a decision is tremendously powerful. You’re only able to do something when you decide it’s time to do it, when you declare you are going to do it. By declare I’m not saying you should announce on social media or invite your family and friends over and say you’re making a move. The most important thing is declaring it to yourself. Say it out loud.
And if you’re thinking “easier said than done”
I’ll tell you I did and it worked. So, keep reading…
When you decide and declare, you activate that voice. You know the voice in your head that says you canNOT do it. You’ll NEVER be good enough. You’re going to FAIL?
This voice dumps on you whenever you make a declaration or set a goal. It criticizes you, it beats you down when you struggle to stand up for what you want to achieve. Hang on. It leads us to the next step.
“When you doubt your power,
you give power to your doubt.”
– Honore de Balzac
2 – I chose an action mantra
I like to read and repeat positive affirmations out loud in a daily basis. They help me keep motivated. But for me, it’s even more important to choose what I call action mantra. That is an affirmation, quote or mantra that will motivate you to take action.
Some affirmations are beautiful but don’t provoke any attitude from us. And here I’m talking about a very personal trait because what inspires me to take action may not inspire you and vice-versa. So, you have to read and repeat a lot of affirmations until you feel it.
You may ask “how do you feel it?”
This is how it works for me: I read the affirmations out loud and I pay attention to my feelings. Some are very positive and strong, but make me feel I’m not good enough. It means it doesn’t resonate with me at that point in my life. So I skip to the next one and proceed with the same steps until I feel the will to do something, to make a change. When that happens, I know that’s the one.
And now comes the most important part. You must read it as many times as necessary to make it yours, as it came from your heart. Repetition leads you to believing. Take my action mantra from last year as an example. I chose one from Walt Disney that says…
It resonated with me at that moment because I had already tried making JB Studio my primary work and I quit because I was too afraid of not being able to pass through the difficulties of making it happen. So, I know I could rely on this affirmation whenever I felt compelled to give up.
And it made all the difference.
Every time I repeated that to myself I knew I was going to succeed, I just needed to keep on going and I kept.
3 – I stopped comparing myself with others and understood I had a long road to walk
One of the worst things you can do is comparing yourself to others. Take my story as an example. Whenever I saw designers in my niche with lots of fans and a good customer base, stepping further and creating new kinds of products I felt I wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t keep up with them. I was only able to get rid of that feeling when I realized I was just a beginner. They had been doing it for 8 or more years, they took a long road to the place they are now and I had to be patient and perseverant.
It took a heavy pressure off of my shoulders and I understood I was just starting my walk through that road. Lighter, I could do a better job.
“The fastest way to kill something special,
is to compare it with something else.”
4 – I started and allowed myself to change
All the previous steps are mental practices. They are powerful, but they will only work when you take the first step. Just start. If you’re not completely sure about a dream you have, if you don’t have a project all figured out. It’s not enough reason to not start it. You can always correct it on the go or re-think and re-plan or take another direction if you realize it’s not really your thing.
You can only know if it’s your thing if you try it. Think about clothing, when you buy a piece of clothing, you try it on to see if it fits, right? The same with food, you can only like or dislike something if you try it. How can you know exactly what you want for yourself if you don’t try?
Multi-passionate ladies, raise your hands!
I know the feeling when you like so many things that you can’t decide what to do and you become afraid of choosing the wrong one or leaving others aside and you avoid the situation and end up not doing anything. Is that the way you want to live your life? Just choose one thing and allow yourself to experiment it and if after some time you realize it doesn’t make you happy, allow yourself to change. What is the worst scenario if you change?
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again,
only this time more wisely.”
– Henry Ford
Thanks so much for reading. I hope it was useful and inspiring. Leave a comment or a question and I’ll be glad to reply.
May you experience a lot of happy moments this year.
Hope you have an amazing creative day.